This one is for all the Habbo parents, the soon-to-be mummies and daddies, or just the curious. I’ve met lots of Habbos over the past few months that are either due to have their first child, or are parents to one or more tiny humans – shout out to you! You guys will know that one of the first things you learn when you are about to have a baby is that everyone wants to give you advice – whether you want it or not. Well, I have some great news…
I have some more advice for you! Yay!
For those who are well acquainted with the parent life you can sit back, enjoy, and drink that cuppa you made 20 minutes ago. For the first timers, I have a few tips for you..
1. Don’t trust a toddler.
I once trusted my daughter with a pen, and I am now exhibiting some lovely art work on my lounge wall. Another example that every parent can relate to is “Do you need a wee?” “No mummy!” she says while holding herself and doing a dance suspiciously similar to Gangnam style.
2. Baby wipes are MAGIC.
Serious, buy them in the bulk load! What can they NOT do? To be honest, it’s a little bit scary that we wipe that beautiful fresh skin with the same product that can remove paint off a wall. Hmm.. (None of us last with the cotton wool and water thing, admit it.)
3. Bananas are the king of stains.
Okay, so forget what I just said. It turns out baby wipes can’t get out banana stains…BUT bananas can get out splinters!! Rub banana peel on a splinter, it’ll loosen and help heal the skin. Nice.
4. Plans don’t go to plan.
Sleepless nights, sudden illnesses, child care arrangements, accidents and that moment when you’re about to leave the front door… and you hear a big loooong wet fart. Just accept you’ll be late for everything.
5. Nappies with a plus symbol are not for chubby babies.
That little plus sign actually stands for extra absorbency! Mind blown. Totally thought it was for fat babies. LOL.
6. Parents have baggage.
Have a baby, and you will become Mary Poppins over night. No, I’m not talking about the ability to make children do as they’re told (wouldn’t that be something!) but you DO have a massive and over priced bag containing an endless supply of everything.
7. Baby brain is real!
The lack of sleep and massive amount of hormones apparently cause a bit of downtime for the brain, so it can’t learn and process memories as well as it should. So that time in the Habbox Saturday Night Quiz when I answered “Sun” to the biggest planet in the solar system… Totally had an excuse.
8. You’ll never eat again.
Okay, slight exaggeration. However, these tiny humans do have a tendency to cry just as you start to eat something. What’s that all about!?
I could go on and on… but I need a cuppa. What would you add to the list?
All jokes aside, I love being a mum. 😛