I am old. Not quite a pensioner yet, but in terms of the Habbo population I might as well be put in a home. Fortunately, plenty of other Habz veterans are getting past the point where they too are considered old. Do you fit the bill? Are you beyond your sell-by date? Give that Read More button a click to see some indicators that you might be entering your Golden Years!

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YOU ARE PROBABLY OLD AS HECK WHEN:

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‌* You have to push to wee.

* You use the phrase “kids these days” unironically.

* Bands you used to listen to are having 10 year+ reunion tours.

* You host a party and the neighbours don’t even notice let alone complain.

* You know how to drink in moderation.

* Having a hangover actually stops you from doing things.

* You miss composing monophonic ringtones on your Nokia.

* Your friends have kids and mortgages.

* You stay over at a friend’s house after a night out and they actually make a bed for you instead of just throwing sofa cushions and a towel at your passed out body in the kitchen.

* People who weren’t even born in the same decade as you can drive.

* You’re more excited about bread than sweets.

* Your choice of footwear is based on comfort.

* You decide to leave a bar/restaurant and try somewhere else because it’s too loud.

* You use sunscreen without being reminded to.

* You weigh up pros and cons between going out with friends and just having an early night… at the weekend.

* You begin to notice just how many millionaires and superstars are younger than you.

* Songs that were hits when you started clubbing are now on “vintage” music channels.

* You start believing that socks with sandals might not be all that bad.

* You try telling younger people how they’ll feel about things when they’re older, knowing full well that it’ll make no difference to what they’re going to do.

* You make an audible “oouuuugghh” sound when you stand up after sitting for a while.

* Um Bongo is too sweet for you.

* You actually remember Um Bongo.

* Your peers compliment you on your cardigan.

* You’ve made a new email address for professional purposes that is actually your name.

* Your expenses include making sure your stocks of Gaviscon and Rennies are kept topped up.

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And of course…

• You write lists.

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