Agony Aunt takeover, in order to keep my identity a secret the lovely Gamal has lent me the use of his account to post these articles. If any of you get wind of who I am, shush keep it to yourself, it’s a secret. To read my advice click read more.
So I got this letter from a fan who has quite a problem, the letter says:
For a long time I have seen you as a “counseling person”, obviously, and also I have been reading your advice with some uncertainty because, throughout my life, I had even believed with a measure of pride that relationship-related complications only happened to people who were careless and clingy enough to bother trying to sustain it; and, in general, this seemed like a waste of time but, as you can imagine by of the teardrop marks on this paper, I just became a fatal victim too.
I need help, and I need help urgently. I can’t forget about the person who, exactly sixteen days ago, I called “best friend” although, in many cases of jealousy and disconnection, this title no longer belongs to us. The person who was the source of my best and worst days in the online world, indeed. Made me know a deep side, relationship-wise, that I only thought that could exist in fictions. Although a part of me understands that this is a lost cause, I do still think/dream about him a lot, even though I stopped to run after him and stopped to send him e-mails (no longer messages because a block happened…). And, A., when I say “I think about him a lot”, I pretty much mean “He’s the first thing I involuntarily do imagine when I wake up and, sometimes, my last thought of the day”, and I can’t explain why. I’m being as productive as I were in the past, I’m composing songs as hard as a hardworking +A student works on their homework, anyway. My life is not currently being progressively getting worse and ruined because of the loss, but I simply can not stop thinking about him, anyway, even when I’m out of the online world. And, I will not lie to you, thinking about him still hurts a lot, especially because it makes me remember that all the **** we’ve done could be avoided with a more rational conversation and stuff. I still think about him all the time. I face everything that is happening as a sort of failure, as though some good things were meant to be and I screwed everything because I did let myself be affected by some things that I did not even think that was true. I’m carrying a sort of weird weight of guilt and remorse since the beginning of this month, I’ve been trying to find people, probably new friends with the same wavelength he used to have, but it’s being useless, no one can replace me for him and no one can take his place because he was one of the most caring and intelligent people I’ve met in my whole life (even though I’m only 19, hehe). I’m not crying anymore but my heart misses a beat whenever I remember all the awesome things we used to talk, the soft and wise rhythm on his way of saying things, even while saying the simpler and sillier subjects. For the sake of my sanity and the possibility of taking a step forward I’ll need to forget him or stop to have faith that he will come back, but I’m clueless about how to do it as, just like a sort of organ, he already is a part of my history and, sometimes, it feels like erasing all the positive and negative influences he’s had in myself also means needing to die.
Oh dear Heartbroken relationship-related complications happen to us all and frankly, while I’m sad you’re going through this I’m also pleased you’ve had to wait until now to witness it yourself. I thought I would write these articles with witty hilarious answers but those will have to wait until next time, you’re in need of proper advice and that’s what I’m here for…
It’s hard to get over losing a friendship, sometimes it’s much worse than simply breaking up with a boy/girlfriend, they’re your rock and in some cases your platonic soulmate. I myself have had this happen to me so know that you’re not alone. What I want you to know though is, it’s not your fault. No matter how many times you think over the situation and how you could have handled it better it would have ended up this way one way or another. Perhaps sixteen days ago, perhaps today, or perhaps two years from now. If he was able to forgive you on your slip up now then they’ll be another in the future he would not have forgiven you for, it’s inevitable.
Distractions, as you have mentioned, are the way to go. Don’t look to find a new friend to replace him, as of course, no one could replace him, but find new friends who are awesome in their own way. Throw yourself into your work and create all the glorious chibis the world can’t even imagine! And, remember, it’s okay to think back on the good times – it’s okay to be happy remembering that funny moment you had. Don’t let your sadness taint all your lovely memories of him because it’s possible in the future he may realise his mistake and return and you don’t want to have let your sadness linger enough to turn into hatred and deny any contact he may try and reconcile with in the future.
Be strong, young one. We Habboxers are always here for you, all you have to do is ask. Plus you’re awesome, he’s the dumb one here obviously why would anyone block you and your fab wisdom!
~ Agony Aunt
If you would like your letter to be part of the next part of the Agony Aunt column all you have to do is pm it to Badr56 on the Habbox forum and he will forward it me.
Leave a comment down below if you like the return of this column or have any comments in general about it.