Last act of the Barbara Mushy “trilogy” of 4 stories!
Sit down at the table. Some questions that need to be asked (whether you’re a man or a woman, no matter your orientation)…
- – Why, most of the time, is it considered shameful to let a person know that you are in love with them?
- – How was your reaction when you realised that you began to feel these things, that you truly liked someone? Would you go there and express your feelings or would you be embarrassed only by thinking that they could find out?
- – Why do we tend to think the person we care about will like us better if they’re snubbed?
- – From what age do you hear the maxim “You only give value to something when you lose it”, or “You don’t know what you got until it’s gone”?
- – Why do some people recommend us to despise a little the ones we love for them to run after us?
- – How many people do you know have moved away from someone they were getting engaged to because it was “becoming too serious”? How many of them admit that they did let them go because of difficulties in dealing with emotions? How many appear to blame other factors?
- – Why, when we tell someone that a person likes us, we always choose a tone by which we are the superior ones, such as “Hey, (s)he is crazy about me”, “That girl/boy just does not stop talking” and things like that?
- – How did we internalise this stupid myth that relates the figure of the one who loves to the weakest side of history?
- – Why are women taught to love with devotion from the moment they are born, something that is already perceived in the themes of some games, but men are not?
- – Do you have in mind the memory of hearing/listening to someone saying some people were “boring”, “annoying”, “sticky”? How often do you remember this being related to the emotional way they usually behaved?
This unjustified shame of expressing our feelings and passions, through the relationship between love and games of power, is substantially a patriarchal construction. You are worth less in the loving play the more you happen to resemble to what a woman usually is ‘programmed’ to be. Thanks to that, we are incorrectly seen as more powerful, autonomous, free – or even SMARTER, if we constantly express the act of DETACHMENT, this curious word that has been contemporaneously translated to the ease of discarding ties on relationships, which some people feed in order to cover their highest level of ignorance and cruelty. Therefore, it is said to be more valuable that one who loves less, or at least who knows how to pretend well, in this sickly hierarchy that we have created to deny our nature as affective animals… for… some… reason…