As you can tell by the title, this is going to be about my current favourite TV show – Sex and the City. You might think I will be talking about the episodes, the characters, and what they all represent, but this article is actually going to be a personal reflection on how my life and perspective has been manipulated and abused by this show. Don’t get me wrong; I absolutely love it, and I enjoy watching Carrie (the main character) and all the others, but it has a lot of emotional themes that may affect you if you’re in a relationship that’s having some troubles.

Sex and the City depicts a series of classic relationships among the main cast and it always gets me that Carrie is never really satisfied with anyone until the final season – and even then it’s on rough waters. I have been in a relationship for ten months now, and we’ve had our ups and downs. Often I will be watching it and come across a scene mirroring something that has recently happened in my relationship, at which point I look at my boyfriend, feel a soreness in my stomach, my anxiety shoots, and I begin to think of the worst things possible.

I’ve put myself into Carrie’s (utterly fabulous and overpriced) shoes a lot. Her feelings became my feelings, and her actions became my own. Recently I have realised that my own relationship is playing along the same lines as her on/off long-term relationship through season 3 and 4. Realistically, I know that mine and hers are totally different and I try to tell myself that – but isn’t it crazy that our brains instantly go to the worse possible situation!

I compare a lot of my mental and emotional states with what is going on in Carrie’s life, and even though it sounds very depressing she has taught me some pretty good life lessons. First of these is that sometimes – well, most of the time – the worries are all in our heads. We get so worked up that we give ourselves standards that we cannot achieve, and when we fail to live up to these we blame ourselves. In the end it is not healthy, physically or mentally. Carrie showed to me the importance of in the small things in life, whether it was enjoying the company of her friends, spending time with a book, or just relaxing with a glass of wine. The simplest forms of happiness make up for anything damaging from that day.

Carrie brought around the mentality that when you look good, you feel good. And when you feel good, you enjoy your life a little more than you otherwise would. In this show you see Carrie always buying shoes and dresses and accessories and at first I thought, “I wish I had that kind of money!” … then something hit me. It wouldn’t matter if she bought those shoes or not. What she does is a reflection of how she knows what makes her happy. It got me thinking about the things in my life that make me happy and what I find value in. For me it is photography. I love being outside with a friend or two doing a photoshoot in a small breeze, with the sun shining behind the trees: that is my happiness. The littlest things in life can make you the most happiest.

The last and most valuable aspect I have taken from Sex and the City‘s Carrie is the importance of writing. Everything that you do in your life – write it down, reflect on it and learn from your mistakes. Carrie, as a sex and relationship columnist for the New York Times, reflects constantly and begins to learn more about herself through her work. That is the biggest thing I have learned from her.

I know that this article started off very low, but I want you to know that even though I am dealing with issues with myself, watching TV shows like Sex and the City gives me perspective. There are always going to be days when you feel like crap, but there are also equally good days when you feel on the top of the world. We can never have good days without some bad ones. We should take them all for what they’re worth and learn from when we fall, and rejoice when we succeed.