Love is in the air… right?

IDK I’m not your dad, work it out yourself. I’m just here to tell you how to have a great Friday.

Go on, keep reading.

Ok so it isn’t just Friday, it’s the day of the Feast of Saint Valentine. Chap was a bishop of some sort who supposedly got tortured and killed back in the year 269, when I was a young boy. I didn’t know him, but with that delightful story I see no reason whatsoever that he shouldn’t be chosen to represent love and courtship.

WHAT.

Anyway, let’s get on with a list of what you should do on this fine day. I’m lovely (famous for it) so I’ll include a list for singletons and a list for those who are loved up. I’m really too good to you people.

Did I have to drop a bot for this picture because I’m so alone? You bet.

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[FOR THOSE WHO ARE ALONE TODAY…]

You may feel lonelier today than other days, which is a shame. Try these things to make you feel better:

• Build a cake out of meat.
• Go out for lunch on your own and see if you can guilt people into giving you free food.
• Purchase a large amount of Vaseline for those calloused hands.
• Join one (or several) of our wonderful departments at Habbox so you get to work with me.
• Befriend the spirit of a large oak tree.
• Invent a language that only you can understand.
• Learn to whistle a tune.
• Learn to whittle a tuna.
• Write a letter to a local politician asking for an increase in potholes.
• Wear two pairs of socks, but don’t tell anyone. Hahahahaha you rascal.
• Cabbage surprise.
• Have TWO ice creams.
• Invite all of your friends over at the same time.

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[FOR THOSE WHO ARE COUPLED UP AND IN LOVE]

• Go away.